We've returned from our trip and I am suffering all the usual disruptions that come from being simultaneously glad to be home, in mourning for the end of vacation and overwhelmed at the amount of laundry that seems to have developed along the way. The boy is tucked into bed after exhibiting a level of overstimulation not often seen in one so young and we've gone through the mail enjoying the arrival of the gardening catalogs. It's official: Christmas is over and spring is on the way.


The trip back to Philadelphia, although certainly fun, was disrupting in ways other than purely logistical. Professionally the week led to some promising leads for additional work when I'm ready to start again after the baby is born, a period I have not yet let myself think about. Although disorienting, this is a good thing. From a personal perspective, the results were mixed. We discovered that two friends have decided to end their marriage (I never realized that one could experience grief when friends separate), a family member is on financial thin ice after an unexpected illness and the costs associated with required treatments coupled with an unconscionable raise in her rent (perpetrated by another relative, no less), a second family member is orchestrating what can only be described as a willful dismanteling of her family through emotional and mental abuse of her adult children, and another couple we love is facing the closure of their workplace just after they committed to taking on the live in care of their aging parents. I am confused and saddened about all of these developments and am trying desparately to remember that I have no power to fix these situations so I must just try to be supportive and offer whatever assistance I can and be as sensitive as possible.


So all of this has left me somewhat discombobulated. Because I am a world-class worrier and our current orange alert has me already incredibly jumpy and jerky (the entire time my sister-in-law was out picking up a pizza, I was convinced that she was in mortal danger), I was ill prepared to absorb and process all of the woe we found among our nearest and dearest. I can only hope that the concentration of so much sadness into the end of one year means that this new year will be free and clear for all. Fingers crossed and knock wood.


This weekend I will try to exorcise some of my nervous energy by making a batch of grapefruit marmalade. I have some grapefruits given to me during November's Florida trip and the only other required ingredients are sugar and water. My grapefruits are of the pink variety, so I bet the finished product turns out really pretty. Don't we all need some more pretty in our lives?