We're back from J.'s funeral. It was awful.


She did give us all two final gifts, though. The first was the opportunity to visit with long missed college friends who came from far and wide to support her husband and say goodbye. Sad that it took this horrible event to prod us to seek each other out, but there you are. There were several receptions and wakes and there was much joy in sharing happy memories with each other. Of course, we've all exchanged phone numbers and e-mail addresses and made promises for a proper reunion next year. I really think it will happen, too.


The other gift was that we have all come to realize that we are not immortal and plans and preparations must be made. Many of us have children, aging parents or partners to whom we are not married and these people must be protected. One of the fraternity brothers (J.'s and my husbands are brothers - this is how we met in the first place) is an estate attorney and brought everyone information on steps we need to take now. J. died intestate - without a will - and this means extra hassle and expense for her family. A bunch of us wanted to head over to his office to talk right after the service, but he declined saying he had no intention of profiting from the occasion and he would make recommendations if we needed them. Very cool.


So now my husband and I have an appointment to create a will as a first step with the goal of putting together a trust within a year or so to provide further protection for the kids and to make sure that our wishes are carried out with regards to their care should we die together. We are also buying more life insurance, needed since we now have two children.


If you have not already and you have loved ones that require your help and protection even in the event of your death, please see to this. As we're finding, it will definitely cost (and we're gulping just a bit at the expected bill), but think how much more is at stake. If you can't afford the fees, at least write your wishes down and have the whole thing dated, signed and notarized. At least that way you'll have some record of what you want done in the event of your death. For more information, go here. Promise me you'll take care of this, o.k.?