Lessons in Festive Project Management

Shortly after the Boy was born on a now distant late-September morning, Brainiac startled me with the declaration that our Christmas tree would henceforth be displayed with a train chug-chug-chugging below. Effective immediately. I didn't grow up with trains around the tree and reached adulthood knowing about the concept in theory but never having given any thought to its application in reality. And then my train-appreciating husband became the father to a train-obsessed little boy (I'm pretty sure that this is where train-appreciating men come from in the first place) and so for the last nine Christmases there has been a train 'neath the tree, as directed.

The methodology in years past has been thus: slap down the track, futz with the engine, throw a bit of glittery fake snow about and call it good. Inevitably the uneven floor beneath the track or the glitter or an overzealous cat would interfere with the arrangement and tears would ensue. Then more futzing, trying to locate the little tube of smoke potion stuff, shimming the track, swearing about "today's alleged craftsmanship and my grandfather's engine never would have..." and yet more futzing and then inevitably disillusionment. A few more tears and Brainiac would declare the train off-limits and there it would sit, gathering resentment as much as dust.


Enough. A few weeks ago father and son were informed that my regrettable lack of oversight to the train process is coming to an end and I am ready to take up a position on the side of attractive as well as functional Christmas railroad operations. Not that I have any overblown expectations of museum-quality displays or the type of thing you get when grown men spend too much time in their parent's basements. No, not at all. My thoughts are merely that if we apply a few standard project lifecycle concepts to the affair we'll end up with something to make everyone happy - a working, touchable, seasonally-appropriate, attractive little show of Yuletide tradition. If, along the way, I ended up with some days' worth of teachable moments, so much the better. Taking a page from my workaday world, I've appointed the Boy as project manager (I, of course, am Management) and given him a brief training on Mandatory Project Activities as they pertain to the Christmas train:

- Project Scheduling
- Needs Assessment
- Requirements Gathering
- Gap Analysis
- Budget Review
- System Development
- User Acceptance Testing
- Stakeholder Acceptance ("Mama, what's a stakeholder?" "Me. It means I have to like the plan." "Oh. So I really have to pay attention to this stuff? Man!")
- Deployment

I'll post the results as the work is completed, along with the hoped-for denouement of a lovely, functional Christmas train. Stay tuned, world.